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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Breezy aka ZexyFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Activity


Perhaps I'm paranoid,or maybe just stressed.
But when i'm in a crowd i panic when addressed.
I feel scars of self harm show through jean
But now im 3 months clean.
You are a girl. A 'nerd' and a 'freak. You're the girl everybody taunts. You
always ask yourself what you did to deserve the torment. You never seem to get an
answer.

You scream over and over to the God you may or may not believe in. Why did you
make me this way. Why would you make me somebody everybody hates so much!? Why did
he make you somebody so...so ugly. You let your mind wonder everyday of every week
of every month of every year.

One day,you wake up. The day seems like all the others,but one thing is different.
You feel dead. You feel heavy and it seems like a chore to live. But despite that
you pull yourself out of bed. You brush your hair. You dress in long sleeves and
jeans every day despite how hot it may be,hiding scars on your legs and arms.

People question you and you reply that you're only cold. They accept it and move
on with their happy day.

Moving along you pulled up your sleeve,locked in your room. You pull out a razor
you got off your pencil sharpener. nobody noticed it missing since you had so many.
You dragged it easily across pale scarred skin. You watch the blood for some time
before covering the cuts with pandages and pulling down your sleeves.

You  put on your shoes,grab your bag,and leave for school.

You catch the bus just in time,ignoring the talk and chatter of the people,but
you're tripped by a jock who laughs. You stand up,not saying and word and sit in the
seat in the front,across from a girl with short brown hair cut in a similar style to
your short hair only your's in dyed black.

You watch her from the corner of your eye. You are a lesbian. She is your frined.
Her name? Karen. You think she's beautiful  and she thinks you're a nice person.

She glances over and smiles at you. You force a smile back. She has no idea you
are suffering since you hide it behind your mask and smile. You look away and watch
out the window. it's December. You watch as it begins to snow. The white perfect flakes
that seem to have no care in the world.

The flakes remind you of an angel's wings. Flawless. Everything you are not. You
continue to lose yourself in your thoughts until you get to school. You get off the bus
and walk inside,ignoring remarks made.

You get to the cafeteria and sit on a set of stares hidden by two walls. Karen sits on
the stair below you. She draws as you watch. You enjoy watching her draw. It's a
moment you can just firget the world and focus on her. But the bell rang and you walked
together down the halls until Kren went to her locker.

You first went to Honors Biology,listening to your teacher talk about genetics and genotypes
and phenotypes. You absently took notes,mind going to your cuts and razor at home. Who would
even miss you,you thought. Karen had other friends to talk to.

The class flew by and next you went to honors geometry. You constructed patterns that day
with only a compus and a straight edge. Once again your mind goes dark,thinking of ways to
kill yourself. The teacher pulls you aside and asks if you're all right. You nod and say you
just feel a bit ill. She lets you go to the nurse to lay down until lunch.

You fell asleep and woke up what felt like seconds later to Karen telling you it was lunch
time. You get off the cot,still drowsy but you follow her. Niether of you get a tray of food.
You go to the same place you had been at breakfast and once again watch her draw.

 You smile very faintly as she draws you. You say she drew you too pretty and she says
it's how you look.

That's when she suddenly whispers"I know you're suffering. Why don't you tell me...?"

You froze,stuttering. How did she know? You broke and she led you to the empty bathroom,
slowly pulling up your sleeves. She hugged you,holding you as you cried into her shoulder.
When you calmed down she showed you her own arms,faint scars there"You're never alone,
okay? I promise,I'm always here for you."

She saved your life and eventually you both stopped self harming,but it took a while,and
you learned she dud infact like you. You dated and were happy. You got help with your
depression and no longer had a longing to die. You would alwats have Karen to thank.
Uh...Hey...it's been a while...like 3 months...I guess I owe some updates...I'm working on Cheshire cat zexion cosplay and my birthday is in like 2 months. I'll be 15. I uh...I really don't know. I'm a freshman now. Shit load of homework in my honors classes I take and I do stuff for nhs (national honors society) which can't be formally entered until a person is a junior...that's sorta it I think
  • Listening to: never surrender
  • Reading: harry potter book 3
  • Watching: ...youtube videos
  • Playing: Kingdom Hearts II
  • Eating: pizza
  • Drinking: diet drop red

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sokailover's Profile Picture
sokailover
Breezy aka Zexy
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
my two major couples are zemyx and sokai.lately,I have had an amazing zemyx art streak,since Zexion is who i draw most XD I FIRST drew him as a hamster,but there are some hair glitches XD at first i didn't MEAN to draw zexion,but it turned into him :)
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:iconjjj6:
jjj6 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday sis!
Reply
:icondeadfantasyfreak:
DeadFantasyFreak Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Give ♥ This♥ To ♥ The ♥ Twelve ♥ Nicest ♥ People ♥ You ♥ Know ♥ If ♥ You ♥ Get ♥ Five ♥ Back ♥ You ♥ Must ♥ Be ♥ Perfect
Reply
:iconpupluv1995:
pupluv1995 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Student General Artist
I sent an angel to watch over you last night but it came back.
I asked, "why?"
The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels."
Twenty one angels are IN your world.
Ten of them are sleeping, Ten are playing, one is reading this message.
Send this to ten friends including me.
I guess if I don't get it back I'm not one of them. As soon as you get five replies someone you love will quietly surprise you.
Please read, not joking. God has seen you struggling with something. God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on. Please don't ignore it. You are being tested. God is going to fix two things BIG tonight in your favor. DROP everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the bast day of your life. Don't break this chain. Send this to 14 friends in 10 minutes. It's not that hard
Reply
:iconpoofy98:
poofy98 Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
tagged :3
[link]
Reply
:iconmiivy:
miivy Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I sent an angel to watch over you last night but it came back. I asked, "why?" The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels."Twenty one angels are IN your world. Ten of them are sleeping, ten are playing, and one is reading this message. Send this to ten friends including me. I guess if I dont get it back I'm not one of them. As soon as you get five replies someone you love will quietly surprise you. Please read, not joking. God has seen you struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on. Please don't ignore it. You are being tested. God is going to fix two BIG things tonight in your favor. DROP everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Don't break this chain. Send this to 14 friends in 10 minutes. Its not that hard
Reply
:iconsokailover:
sokailover Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
^^ btw,how ya been?
Reply
:iconmiivy:
miivy Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Bored, broke, and tired. Not to mention happy with my oh so awesome friend.
Reply
:iconsokailover:
sokailover Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
cool i suppose.i have to go shopping later :P gotta get books for my honors english class.i have to read 2 books (but i wanna read 10 on the list soooo....heh...)and write a 3 paragraph half paged report (approximately 15 lines)the first book can be any book.but the second must be award winning and a long lasting classic.I chose Pride and Prejudice since i have an idea about that seeming i read the short class room addition...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsanctuarysembrace:
SanctuarysEmbrace Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I sent an angel to watch over you last night but it came back. I asked, "why?" The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels."Twenty one angels are IN your world. Ten of them are sleeping, ten are playing, and one is reading this message. Send this to ten friends including me. I guess if I dont get it back I'm not one of them. As soon as you get five replies someone you love will quietly suprise you. Please read, not joking. God has seen you struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on. Please don't ignore it. You are being tested. God is going to fix two BIG things tonight in your favor. DROP everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Don't break this chain. Send this to 14 friends in 10 minutes. Its not that hard
Reply
:iconsokailover:
sokailover Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I sent an angel to watch over you last night but it came back. I asked, "why?" The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels."Twenty one angels are IN your world. Ten of them are sleeping, ten are playing, and one is reading this message. Send this to ten friends including me. I guess if I dont get it back I'm not one of them. As soon as you get five replies someone you love will quietly surprise you. Please read, not joking. God has seen you struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on. Please don't ignore it. You are being tested. God is going to fix two BIG things tonight in your favor. DROP everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Don't break this chain. Send this to 14 friends in 10 minutes. Its not that hard
Reply
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